Wear Your Seat Belt!
The automobile auction I attended was selling cars to benefit charity. Vehicles were classified as "running" or "no start". One of the no-starters was on the block. It had a shattered windshield, two missing tires, a sagging front bumper, a cockeyed grille, the hood sprung up at an angle and dings and dents everywhere.
Before he started the bidding, the auctioneer announced the car's year, make and model, then read these comments from the owner: "Please note, the radio does not work."
